A study in misunderstandings
by MrsRiddleMalfoy
Summary: John Watson, An ex army doctor, understands his feelings for Sherlock Holmes. He decides to act on them by using pick up lines in the first chapter. Will things work out?
1. Chapter 1

**Notes:**

**I will also post this on AO3 (TheGirlWhoLoved) and Wattpad (TheMrsCumberbatch).**

**Also, English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.**

**Enjoy ;)**

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><p>Doctor John Hamish Watson was finally able to identify his feelings toward a certain person. It took him years and failing dates with different women to see what everyone did.<p>

He had a huge crush on the famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.

John decided to check if Sherlock shared his feelings first before doing anything stupid, so he used the man's personal weapon: The science of deduction.

For weeks, Sherlock Holmes was the object of many experiments he didn't know about. Lucky for him, the results came satisfying, and John found himself amused about the fact that the man with the most sharp observation skills had no idea about his feelings. So he decided to help him discover them.

His sister Harriet was skyping him when she suggested pick up lines. She told him they worked very well on women in bars and helped her get lucky.

'They even worked on Clara when we first met and she was a fun person.'

That was the encouraging line that made John search for pick up lines online. Perhaps it will make Sherlock go out with him on a date.

They came home after a case. Sherlock was laying down on the couch, his adrenaline wearing off. John decided to use a pick up line he read.

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><p>"So Sherlock.." He said clearing his throat.<p>

"Hmm.." Sherlock replied not even looking at him.

John took a deep breath. "Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.''

"You're the doctor, I thought you had one." Sherlock replied. "Oh yeah I used it in an experiment.. It's in the kitchen." He opened one eye turning to John. "It's not an interesting case without a chase. I am sure your knee isn't badly injured."

John rolled his eyes. "Yeah.. Thanks, whatever."

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><p>They were having dinner in their flat when John decided to use another pick up line. He looked into Sherlock's eyes making sure the man notices that.<p>

"Are you okay John?" Sherlock said not maintaining the eye contact enough to witness the doctor's pupils dilating.

"Yeah I am." John smiled. "But I need to ask you this..''

''Shoot." Sherlock said chewing his food.

" Do you have a map? I'm getting los-" John started.

"You have a laptop." Sherlock interrupted him. "Try Google maps." He shook his head. "And you call ME lazy."

"Jesus.. I never thought of that." John said sarcastically.

"Again, what is it like in your brain?" Sherlock tilted his head.

"Sherlock don't start." John warned. "Or I swear to God-"

"Yeah yeah.." Sherlock said not wanting to get punched.

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><p>John collapsed on his chair. "Sherlock." He whined.<p>

"Yes?" Sherlock said typing on his laptop.

"My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.." John sighed.

"I wish I could help but I deleted the Vitamins from my mind palace." Sherlock tilted his head. "It that serious? Perhaps I should do a blood test as well.. You and I eat the same food.."

"No it's not serious." John groaned. "You don't need to.. It's not caused.. By food.. Nevermind.. Keep working."

Sherlock raised an eyebrow before starting to type again.

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><p>John rushed upstairs. "Sherlock? This is very important!"<p>

"What?" Sherlock looked up from his experiment.

"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?"

Sherlock nodded. "Yeah sure."

"Seriously?" John asked not daring to believe.

"Yes?" Sherlock blinked. "I read many books and I know things.. I could help. So unless it's the Solar System or Vitamins, I can't help."

"Of course.." John sighed. "It's okay, I will borrow a book from Mike."

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><p>"Sherlock?" John whispered. "Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!"<p>

"Fox?" Sherlock gasped looking around. "Where? How did it get here? Finally a puzzle."

"You know what?" John said rolling his eyes. "I think it was a dream."

Sherlock groaned. "Just when I thought that things were becoming interesting."

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><p>"Did you know they changed the alphabet?" John asked Sherlock not looking up from the newspaper. "They put U and I together."<p>

"That's really dull." Sherlock said putting some God knows what body part in the microwave. "What's the point in changing it? It won't affect anything. People can read even without memorizing the alphabet order." He set the timer. "I seriously want to take a look at the brain of whoever suggested this change and all the people who made it happen."

John posed the newspaper and rubbed his forehead. "Just delete what you heard since it won't be much use."

"Delete what?" Sherlock asked.

"Oh, of course you did that." John groaned.

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><p>"Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk over by you again?" John asked the detective, one day.<p>

"No need to ask later.. I have nothing to do." Sherlock complained from his chair. "I am not a love expert.. But according to what I see about people in love.. You need to have sufficient knowledge about the person's characteristics. So unless a person has some deduction sills similar to mine, he can't!"

"You're so lucky to have these skills." John said lowly.

"I know." Sherlock said before starting to complain about the lack of murders again, causing John to leave the flat in order keep from killing him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Halloween. Mrs Hudson was preparing the candy happily, dressed as a witch.

Sherlock was working on the pumpkins trying to make them look perfect.

John watched him closely. "Amazing!" He said in awe as Sherlock finished with the last one. "Jesus.. I would totally carve your pumpkin."

"Compliments, as usual." The detective smirked. "Ah no worries, I carved it myself along with all the other ones."

"You really did a great job on the pumpkins. You deserve the credit." John told him. "Right.. Why would I think that you didn't carve it yourself.. No one did that to you before."

"Actually my father did." Sherlock said innocently. "I wasn't born with the skill."

They both went quiet for a moment as John decided to ignore the disturbing images then decided to break the silence and go for more lines. "Hey Sherlock.. Do you like trick-or-treating? Cause I'll give you this Hallow-weiner."

"Last minute costume?" Sherlock rubbed his chin. "Unexpected.. But I believe I can save the day."

"What..?" John said confused.

"I know someone.. He can get us a costume.." Sherlock explained. "I helped him on a case once."

"Ah.." John shook his head. "My real costume is at home in a box under my bed." He tried.

Sherlock's eyes started shining as he heard that and John mentally crossed his fingers. "Your soldier outfit!" Sherlock clapped. "Good thinking John!"

"What!" John yelled before composing himself. "Right."

"Go put it on.. I'll get a costume from the man I told you about.. Meet you in about forty five minutes." He said rushing to put his coat on.

"Sure.." John said and went to shower mumbling angrily about a stupid consulting detective.

The water calmed him for a bit. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went upstairs to his bedroom. He pulled out a dusty box and revealed his uniform. He didn't dare to look at it since he returned from Afghanistan. He bet the detective saw it since he k new exactly what was under John's bed. His heart clenched for a moment as his finger traced his medals, remembering all the things he done to get them. "The things I do for you Sherlock.. I swear to God.." With a sigh he dropped his towel and started dressing.

Sherlock returned to the flat with a bag and slipped into his own bedroom to change.

John came downstairs after checking himself in the mirror multiple times.

"Amazing!" Sherlock was the one with the compliments this time. "Hello.. Forty five minutes exactly.. We're right on the schedule."

"Thanks.. But please, let's not use any schedule and only have fun." John tried to resist a blush and eyed the detective closely. "You look amazing as well.." He licked his lips. "If I were a zombie, I'd eat you first.."

"But you're a soldier." Sherlock replied. "You'll have to prepare the costume and makeup way earlier if you decide to go as a zombie." He told John. "Next year maybe."

"I hope that I won't have to wait for that long." John whined.

"What choice do you have?" Sherlock told him. "Halloween comes once a year, unless you are going to attend costume parties.. You still won't be able to eat me because I won't be attending these silly events.." The detective kept talking. "Unless it is to investigate something.." Sherlock smirked. "I see exactly why you said that! Why you want to eat me.."

"Thank God you understood." John let out a breath. "I was trying to tell you all this time.. But you never understood."

"Of course I understood.. I understood since I was a kid." Sherlock grinned. "But thanks for the compliments anyway."

"Childhood?" John tilted his head. "We didn't know each other back then.." He said confused. "Sherlock Holmes, what did you understand exactly? Tell me so I can know if we're on the same page.."

"I knew I was the brain since I was a kid." Sherlock explained. "Then you came and started pointing out how I do great with my science of deduction.. And now you said that you'd eat me if you were a zombie because zombies eat brains and I have the best one!" He said with pride. "But if we went to a costume party for a case, you wouldn't want to eat my brain because no one else would be able to solve it."

John's jaw dropped.

"I really get you John Watson.." Sherlock told him. "Now come on, I didn't dress as a pirate so we could chat in our living room.. Let's scare London.. Bonus points if we can find the real monsters.. Killers."

"I am glad you get me.." John rolled his eyes. "Yeah sure.. Sounds like fun." He moved after the detective.

They finished their journey and they were returning home late from the police station.

Sherlock managed to tell that a man was covered in real blood and it wasn't a costume, so he and John had to chase him and drag him to the police.

"At least you had fun." Sherlock told the grinning detective as they walked toward Baker Street. "After that chase you deserve a ride on my broomstick."

"You don't have one." Sherlock pointed out.

John had to remind himself that he shouldn't feel insulted since Sherlock didn't understand him properly. "You never know what I'll turn into, at midnight!" He teased.

"A sleeping soldier." Sherlock told him. "What a hard guess."

John glared at him. "You don't let anything be hard."

"Nothing is hard." Sherlock ensured him. "Human brains like the too easy things.."

"How about another hard guess." John suggested smirking. "Try to find out why they call me PumpkinHead."

"Your head is big." Sherlock replied wiping away the smirk from John's face.

"This head?" John pointed at his.

"Last time I checked, you only had one." Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"Shut up and walk." John said giving up on that night.


End file.
